A Guide to Effective Self-Reflection
January offers a powerful opportunity to pause and reflect on your journey. Day to day, we live so much of our time on the surface of our lives, in our ‘Little I’ selves, driven by our deadlines, habits, inner and outer scripts, busyness, quick rewards and ‘shoulds’. Although this time of year is also full, it is a natural moment of pause—like the end of an exhale, before we breathe in again.
So this list of self-reflection prompts helps you have a conversation with your ‘Big I’ – that inner, deeper self that gets crowded out by the noise in your life, and which you can only connect with once you quieten distractions and mind, switch off autopilot, and create space for yourself.
Take some time for each set of questions, write your responses in your journal, and welcome in what you discover. Please feel free to consider just the ones that resonate with you – this isn’t an exam, and you don’t have to find an answer for all the questions. See them as prompts, and notice what arises. Sometimes it can help to review your journal, diary or calendar for the past year, and note down major events, gatherings, projects and milestones before you do this.
Read it back afterwards and highlight the words and phrases that resonate with you. Each one is a seed. You may not yet know what’s going to grow, but don’t worry about that. Don’t push things faster than they need to go right now. This is where you start exploring the questions that will help you find your own path for the next year and for the continuing adventure of the rest of your life.
It’s time to meet your Big I.
Looking back
What am I most grateful for?
What am I most proud of?
What is my most precious memory? What are the details?
How did I take care of my body, mind, and soul?
How was I compassionate to myself?
How was I compassionate to others?
What are three accomplishments I want to give myself credit for? What and who helped?
What were my three greatest challenges? How did I approach them?
What did I overcome?
What did I have to accept?
What did I have to let go?
What did I learn about myself?
What did I complete?
How have I grown?
What do I need to forgive in myself, and in others?
What is something I did this year that I will remember for the rest of my life?
What was something that was hard for me earlier in the year, but is easier now?
What was the best decision I made?
What was the biggest surprise?
Where did I find the most peace, calm and alignment with my values and purpose?
When did I feel most alive?
When did I feel most connected to myself? To others? To nature? To something greater than myself?
When did I feel most joy?
What was out of my control?
What was in my control and what did I choose to be and do?
What was the most loving service I gave myself?
What was the most loving service I received?
What did I do this year to leave the world in better shape?
If I am writing the book of my life, and last year is one chapter, what is its title?
Now
At the start of the year, what have I realised or clarified is most important to me?
What three words describe where I am right now?
Looking forward
What will I take from last year as best practice for the rest of my life?
What will I say no to this year? What will be my three big yeses?
What will I stop procrastinating about?
What will I draw energy from this year?
How will I connect with those dear to me?
What is my deepest wish – for myself, my loved ones, my projects and organisations, my country, and the world?
What do I give myself permission to be and do?
What is going to make next year an important one for me?
What word or phrase will next year be about for me?
If I am writing the book of my life, and this year is one chapter, what is its title?
What do I commit to now?
What’s my first small step?
When will I take it?
Image credit: Raimond Klavins
